Sylvia A. Winters

If a cat is thrown a lemon, he builds a log cabin and spends the summer in Canada

The Sock Beast

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I was hunting under my bed for my the left half of my favourite pair of socks this morning, when I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my hand. I pulled my hand out from under the bed and there in my smooth white flesh was a reddened set of teeth marks! Understandably I was quite miffed, so I pulled up my bed and stood it on its side, and there before my very eyes rose up a terrifying monster, assembled out of my own socks! This beast must have been born when a couple of odd socks had made their way into the safe, footless fortress of the underneath of my bed, and had pulled other socks towards it over the years. Now it stood six foot tall with horrible sharp teeth and horns!

How did I combat the horrifying monster? Simple. I made my own beast out of the other socks that had been left to sit alone in the drawer and they fought to the death. Naturally, my friendly beast won as it was younger, fitter and hadn’t been spending all its life breathing in dust and cobwebs.

So if you’re ever attacked by a disgusting sock monster, you now know what to do.

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Written by Sylvia A. Winters

July 15, 2011 at 7:57 pm

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